As I was driving home tonight, I heard God speak so clearly that all the peace I desired rushed in at once. The concern I had regarding the 2016 Presidential Election dissipated instantly. My hope is that those who believe in the Word of God will find hope and solace in His arms.
The first thing God shared with me was that Donald Trump was the anti-Obama. This in no way is meant as an offense to Mr. Trump or celebrate the President. These are undeniable facts. President Obama comes from a middle-class family, his temperament is calmer, his demeanor is one of humbleness, he is known for compassion, and does not engage in intense verbal sparring on a more primal level. Mr. Trump, on the other hand, was raised in an extremely affluent home, his demeanor is one of harshness, his passions tend to overflow and lead to harsh expressions of his feelings. Both men clearly exhibit two different types of energy.
God said to me the following:
Nicole, do you know that it is mating season for deer? In this season, the deer are known to dash across roadways into the paths of oncoming traffic. In an effort to avoid striking the deer, drivers tend to swerve away. At times, drivers turn the wheel too hard, and their natural reaction is to overcorrect the steering wheel.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the term overcorrect as "to apply a correction to in excess of that required." In other words, its to go in the extreme opposite direction of what is needed to stay on course.
There are those that were so displeased they chose to overcorrect the situation. This is the situation the country finds itself in today.
Then, God continued speaking:
There are times that I don't allow people to get what they want. I know their desires will harm them. Contrarily, there are times I do remove the hedges. I allow people to receive what they desire. I do not do this because what they desire is correct. I do this so they can learn that there are times they have no idea what they need. It is like a begging child asking to eat a lot of sugary substances. Sometimes they have to eat too much sugar to learn that what is or isn't good for them. This country, as a whole, has turned their back from me. The people believe they know what is best for themselves. They are an unbridled horse running away from me. I must allow the prodigal son to flee, so he may learn from experience. No man will meet their needs. Only I can do that.
In an instant, I was at peace. This election has nothing to do with Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton. God is using this as a lesson for the people of this country. He has given us our inheritance, and we have become a wanton people. How long will we stay in the mud before we return home?
Thursday, November 10, 2016
Our Choice, Our Pain: The Significance of the 2016 Presidential Election
It was Wednesday, November 9, 2016, when my students filtered into my classroom. The looks on their faces told a story of the nation. I overheard a student say, "We voted. Remember we voted last week. Didn't our votes count?" Another student chimed in the reality, "Our votes won't count until we're 18." And there it was. The moment they realized how America felt about them.
You see I work in a school district which is heavily populated with Hispanic and African-American residents. My students understood that a new narrative (to them at least) was about to be written, and it would change how they would operate in this America. They were scared and I was concerned.
All Unqualified Candidates Need Apply
On November 8, 2016, the electoral college showed that America wanted to be great again. In an effort to achieve this goal, the people voted for an individual with an interesting resume. They selected an individual who had filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy six times. An individual who, along with his father, were sued by the Justice Department for exercising racial discrimination practices in the leasing of their apartment buildings. Large groups of citizens voted for an individual who categorized most Mexicans entering the United States as individuals that bring drugs, crime, and a rape culture in our communities. How many times did credible news sources deflate his imaginary facts as just out and out lies? Let us not forget the profane and violent language used at his campaign rallies. Regardless of the numerous audio and video footage of him either berating women or categorizing and ranking women as sexual objects, American citizens said that this canidate was the person for the job.
Making America Great Again
Have you ever wondered what the slogan meant? At what time was America at its apex? Who was it great for? Was it at its greatest during the colonization period? The time when the indigenous people of this land were murdered or kicked off their own land for the purpose of American expansion. Was it during the introduction of American slavery? This is the time when thousands of African slaves were shackled on the bottom of slave ships while crossing the Middle Passage. They were placed on platforms and sold as objects. For slaves, this is where the fragmented family was born. They were prevented to marry. Their significant others and children sold for profit. Was America great when the numerous slave owners climbed on top of the slave women and repeatedly and savagely raped them night after night? Of course, this produced numerous children who were ignored my their slave master fathers, and some children were brutally abused by the wives of these men. After all, these children were a reminder of their own husbands' betrayals. Was it great when the Mexicans were bullied to give up their own land like Texas, California, and Arizona?
Was America at its greatest when a woman's only option was to marry, have children, and keep a tidy home? Of course, this completely ignored the other gifts, talents, and God-given dreams that a woman kept buried inside. They were left to be dependent on the man to provide which led some women to endure marriages consumed with adultery or abuse because the women had no way to financially care for themselves or their children.
Maybe America was great when minorities were prohibited from voting, sitting at a lunch counter, or going to school as their Caucasian counterparts. When Ruby Bridges had to be protected by soldiers to enter a school building. Maybe it was great when strange fruit hung from the trees- blood on the leaves and blood on the roots. Or maybe it was great when the peaceful protests by civil rights activists seeking equality as human beings were met by attack dogs, billy clubs, fire hoses, racial epithets, and imprisonment. We, as Americans, missed out on appreciating and learning from each other.
America was never Ozzie and Harriet or Leave it to Beaver. Never. From its very origin, America has dripped in the blood of the disenfranchised.
The Fine Print
Recently, I watched a documentary where a woman recounted her experience in Nazi Germany. She shared how Adolf Hitler wanted to make Germany great. How he had a plan to eliminate Germany's problems and create a great nation. The woman, a child at the time of Hitler's leadership, said that Hitler was their hero. They thought he had the solution to the vast political and economical problems Germany was facing. He promised a better life to the working class and the unemployed. He promised to make Germany great again. He used fear as his momentum in restructuring the government. By 1933, German doctors were allowed to conduct operations which prevented numerous groups ( the deaf, the blind, gypsies, and African-German children) from conceiving children. In response to what Hitler considered the truly poisonous race, the Jewish people were segregated and about three million men, women, and children were murdered in gas chambers. When we include other forms of violence against the Jewish community at this time, about six million Jews had perished for the greatness of Germany. Genocide. In an effort for improvement, one of history's greatest atrocities occurred.
Like a television sales advertisement, a nation, in desperate need of a revival of hope, refused to read the fine print of its political leader. They were brainwashed by a leader and a political party to project its difficulties upon a particular segment of their population. A nation's fear and desperation allowed millions of innocent people to be slaughtered.
Now, in 2016, we see a similar fear tactic being displayed in our country. If we just get rid of the undesirables, America will be great again. "They" stole our jobs. "They" are invading our communities. "They" are destroying our way of life. But America's "way of life" has always been based on an infusion of culture. Our own language is a melting pot of other languages. This is what makes America great. The celebration of God's creations. He gave us all a piece of Himself. And when we work together we obliterate the real Enemy.
Your Choice, Our Pain
Unfortunately, when we select a leader whose method of leadership is divisiveness, we have ignored the fine print. This belief system has never worked. More importantly, we become betrayers and hypocrites of our patriotism. For the Pledge of Allegiance's intentions are clear:
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America
And to the republic for which it stands,
One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
That's right. One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
Anything or anyone who goes against this principle is destroying the very basis of our ideology. So when we vote for a person with these ideas, we vote against our own patriotic beliefs. Our vote for a divisive candidate clearly says "I vote for me and mine, and as long as you take care of me in mine, what you do to the others is of no concern to me." Our vote becomes a vote of separation.
If we willingly vote for a person who has not shown respect for particular groups (based on gender, race, socio-economic standards, etc.) , we carry the same blood on our hands. As an educator, if I know a child is being abused and do not report it, I am just as guilty as the abuser and will be prosecuted as such. My refusal to make an effort to stop the abuse weighs the same as me committing the abuse myself. When the Ku Klux Klan endorsed the candidate, did nothing in you stir with concern? You agreed with them. Your vote agreed with them. We can not just take some of the candidate. We must send the whole person to sit at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. America voted for the whole person. Not just the part we liked.
My Prayer
My prayer is we learn from our choices. We have moved so far away from God that, as a nation, we don't hear His voice. We have become the prime example of a reprobate mind. Well, like the gentleman God is, He has given us our heart's desire. Now, we will eat the fruit there of. My hope rests in 2 Chronicles 7:14 "If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." Let He who is able to change our hearts and our ways do so.
Note: I assign to no specific political party.
Thursday, November 19, 2015
My Brothers and Sisters: Where are you Black People?
Lately, the media and the African- American community have been ablaze with the focus on police officers shooting unarmed African-American citizens. I, for one, have been devastate in cases where the choice to use a firearm seemed excessive. Then, I realized that with all the media hype, we have completely forgotten about all the issues that our community faces on a daily basis. Some of us are so focused on what we consider "the enemy" killing us that we have completely lost sight of the insidious behaviors lurking within in our own communities and committed by our own people.
When I grew up in West Philadelphia, I always heard people speaking about "The Man" doing horrible things to our communities. Now, I knew what that terminology meant, but I was still confused. You want to know why? It wasn't "The Man" I saw hit my mother. It wasn't "The Man" I saw selling drugs two doors down from me. It wasn't "The Man" I saw writing graffiti on the walls. And it wasn't "The Man" I saw abandoning their families. Nope. The perpetrators of these crimes were people that looked and sounded like me. My people.
As I sit here reflecting on us as people, anger and shame feel my soul. Some of us have gotten so lost along the way. We have forgotten the struggle, the bodies beaten, and the blood shed which gave us an opportunity to be free, Our ancestors were ripped from their land, shackled to the bottom of ships, shipped across the Middle Passage and sold as inanimate objects. We've forgotten how our women were repeatedly raped by their owners. How our children were ripped away from their parents and sold in slavery. We've forgotten about lynchings, beatings, crosses burning, attack dogs, and fire hoses. Too many of us have let our ancestors die in vain.
Where are you black people? When our urban cities like Chicago and Philadelphia are racking up the bodies of black teens by other black teens. What are you doing about it? Where is your outrage? Where are your picket signs? Where are your strategy meetings? How are you teaching our people the value of life? If you won't start the revolution, who will?
Where are you black people? When our communities are being ravished by crack, cocaine, and heroin? Are you guarding the blocks? Are you stepping up to protect your own? Where is your plan? How are you improving the community?
Where are you black people? When gangs are stealing our sons and daughters because they "offer" the young people something they feel is lacking...a family. How in the world can our youth be willing to get "jumped in" or have a "train" performed on them to be adopted into a family? Where is your soul-searching and war cry?
Where are you black people? When grown men stand on street corners all day in jeans sagging down to their knees smoking weed to relieve their stress. Are you educating the brothers on the real meaning of sagging jeans? Do you let them continue to look like fools when they can't even properly walk down the street because the waist of their pants is near their own ankles? Are you letting them know that it started in prison culture? Are you letting them know that pants sagged because the prisoners weren't allowed to have belts to prevent them from hanging themselves? Have you told them that it morphed into a sign that men were available to have sex with other men, or do you let them think that it brings swag?
Where are you black people? When our young women are popping out babies by seven different men? Have you taught them their value? Have you invested time to get our women back on track or do you simply stare and point as their butt cheeks and breasts try to make an escape from their clothing? Where are you when men are having so many children by so many women that it's possible half-siblings could marry? Why aren't you marching about that?
Where are you black people? When too many of our people choose crime to support themselves instead of getting an academic or vocational education? Are you stepping in and becoming their mentors? Or are you waiting for someone else to do it?
Where are you black people? When our children are failing in school. Are you pointing to the teachers? Or do you see the numerous parents who, when they do come to school, are high, drunk, or violently spewing profanity? Where are you when children are raising themselves because their parents are in the clubs?
Where are you black people? When reality shows get rich off of making us look ignorant by selecting African-Americans who clearly hold no real value for themselves. They curse, fight, get drunk, and hop from bed to bed with absolutely anyone.
Why do you simply want to march when it comes to police officers? Why are you not as passionate about the way our culture is imploding? Why are you only concerned about the percentage of African-Americans in prison instead of what the individuals did to get in prison. We are destroying our own selves faster than any other group could ever do, Change starts from within our own community. We can't expect anyone else to value us if we don't value ourselves. Where are you black people?
When I grew up in West Philadelphia, I always heard people speaking about "The Man" doing horrible things to our communities. Now, I knew what that terminology meant, but I was still confused. You want to know why? It wasn't "The Man" I saw hit my mother. It wasn't "The Man" I saw selling drugs two doors down from me. It wasn't "The Man" I saw writing graffiti on the walls. And it wasn't "The Man" I saw abandoning their families. Nope. The perpetrators of these crimes were people that looked and sounded like me. My people.
As I sit here reflecting on us as people, anger and shame feel my soul. Some of us have gotten so lost along the way. We have forgotten the struggle, the bodies beaten, and the blood shed which gave us an opportunity to be free, Our ancestors were ripped from their land, shackled to the bottom of ships, shipped across the Middle Passage and sold as inanimate objects. We've forgotten how our women were repeatedly raped by their owners. How our children were ripped away from their parents and sold in slavery. We've forgotten about lynchings, beatings, crosses burning, attack dogs, and fire hoses. Too many of us have let our ancestors die in vain.
Where are you black people? When our urban cities like Chicago and Philadelphia are racking up the bodies of black teens by other black teens. What are you doing about it? Where is your outrage? Where are your picket signs? Where are your strategy meetings? How are you teaching our people the value of life? If you won't start the revolution, who will?
Where are you black people? When our communities are being ravished by crack, cocaine, and heroin? Are you guarding the blocks? Are you stepping up to protect your own? Where is your plan? How are you improving the community?
Where are you black people? When gangs are stealing our sons and daughters because they "offer" the young people something they feel is lacking...a family. How in the world can our youth be willing to get "jumped in" or have a "train" performed on them to be adopted into a family? Where is your soul-searching and war cry?
Where are you black people? When grown men stand on street corners all day in jeans sagging down to their knees smoking weed to relieve their stress. Are you educating the brothers on the real meaning of sagging jeans? Do you let them continue to look like fools when they can't even properly walk down the street because the waist of their pants is near their own ankles? Are you letting them know that it started in prison culture? Are you letting them know that pants sagged because the prisoners weren't allowed to have belts to prevent them from hanging themselves? Have you told them that it morphed into a sign that men were available to have sex with other men, or do you let them think that it brings swag?
Where are you black people? When our young women are popping out babies by seven different men? Have you taught them their value? Have you invested time to get our women back on track or do you simply stare and point as their butt cheeks and breasts try to make an escape from their clothing? Where are you when men are having so many children by so many women that it's possible half-siblings could marry? Why aren't you marching about that?
Where are you black people? When too many of our people choose crime to support themselves instead of getting an academic or vocational education? Are you stepping in and becoming their mentors? Or are you waiting for someone else to do it?
Where are you black people? When our children are failing in school. Are you pointing to the teachers? Or do you see the numerous parents who, when they do come to school, are high, drunk, or violently spewing profanity? Where are you when children are raising themselves because their parents are in the clubs?
Where are you black people? When reality shows get rich off of making us look ignorant by selecting African-Americans who clearly hold no real value for themselves. They curse, fight, get drunk, and hop from bed to bed with absolutely anyone.
Why do you simply want to march when it comes to police officers? Why are you not as passionate about the way our culture is imploding? Why are you only concerned about the percentage of African-Americans in prison instead of what the individuals did to get in prison. We are destroying our own selves faster than any other group could ever do, Change starts from within our own community. We can't expect anyone else to value us if we don't value ourselves. Where are you black people?
Monday, August 10, 2015
It's a Strange Thing
It's a strange thing. The heart of a woman. Songs have been composed about it. Poems have given tribute to it. Nature's characteristics are attributed to it. A woman's heart can be as comforting as the cooling breeze caressing one's cheek as they sink their feet in the sand along the Atlantic Coastline. Yes. A woman's heart has the power to soothe the broken-hearted. However, our heart tends to get us into enormous trouble if not properly guarded.
As stated in previous entries, women are groomed for relationship and service. Our toys (baby dolls, Easy Bake Ovens, and play kitchen sets) groom us for domesticity. We're groomed to make things better or to make things sweeter through service. In our most innocent of thought patterns, we believe that a man will value the service and care we present to him. I know it sounds crazy, but women believe that loving a man and treating him with love automatically binds him to her. I'm sorry to tell you, but men and women are built so differently.
One major difference is that women tend to meditate on things. Our imaginations drift to the "I wonder would it be like" phase, and we quickly fill in the blanks. When I was about ten years, I knew I was going to marry Michael Jackson. I slept with the Victory Tour program under my pillow. I imagined what my life would be like in that world. Of course, I grew out of "love" with Michael and fell head over heels for New Edition member Johnny Gill. I imagined he would see me in the nosebleed seats and be smitten with my innocence. Of course that didn't pan out either, but I spent a lot of time imagining what it would be like.
Truth be told, Snow White, Cinderella, and all those other fairy tales taught us that Prince Charming would only have eyes for us. Smack yourself! This is not a fairy tale. Life has taught me that we don't know what we want. We are fickle creatures always looking for the next best thing. You can give your absolute best to a person, and they reject you. It is their right as a human being to decide you are not what they desire. It is your right as a woman to guard your heart. We give our hearts away too easily- like Tic-Tacs after eating onion rings.
Of course when our heart is broken (and it will be broken), some of us will point at a man and place all the blame on him. The same rhetoric is usually spewed like venom from our mouths. "I gave you the best years of my life"! "I gave you everything!" It might sound like I'm being insensitive, but I'm not because I've made the same tragic mistakes as many of you. Like Frank Sinatra sang, "I did it my way." The problem is that our way doesn't work. If we're really honest with ourselves, we made a lot of wrong choices. We gave our hearts, minds, and bodies to men who were not ready or able to handle such precious things. But we gave our treasures away in hopes of a trade off. In hopes that men would really see the value in us. Look, we don't give the Hope Diamond to a newborn baby because we know the baby can't understand it's value. Why would we give our treasures to someone who is not mature enough to handle. A matter of fact, when women do such things, we show we are not mature enough to value the treasure God placed in us. If we did understand our value, we would protect it more. Let me show you what I mean.
Two days before my 17th birthday I was introduced to a young man. Our first unofficial date was to Dorney Park, and he treated me like a princess. I fell quickly for him, and in a few days we were "" "officially" dating. What was interesting about this relationship was that ALL of his siblings told me not to date him. They explained that he had another side that wasn't so pleasant. Of course, I ignored the warnings. What transpired next? Five years of unadulterated hell. Makeups and breakups. Infidelities on both sides. Another woman pregnant. Marrying another woman that he dated while he was with me. What was sad was that I didn't want to let him go. I told people that I loved him, but now I know the truth. I just didn't want another woman to get the benefits after I had put in the time. Now days, I laugh about it. What benefits? We knew nothing about each other. We weren't even friends. I had given my treasure to an individual that had not earned it. He was incapable of valuing me because he had his own issues. Truth is I failed me. He didn't fail me. Within the first thirty days of our relationship, I saw all the signs. Instead of walking away, I stayed because I wanted it to work out. If maturity means acknowledging your flaws, I am mature.
What's my point? In this country, we are allowed to pick our mates. This means we have a huge responsibility to ourselves and all those that will be impacted by our decision. Spend time with God and let Him direct you. I promise you if you let God lead you, 90% of your relationship drama will immediately cease because you learn that there are some men you shouldn't ever consider dating. Learn what God says about you. Meditate and treasure His view of you. Let His desire lead you and receive His best.
As a bow to this gift, please take the time to view a clip of Taraji P. Henson's view about relationships. It's a great way to evaluate your own standards.
Click here to see Taraji P. Henson's view on dating.
As stated in previous entries, women are groomed for relationship and service. Our toys (baby dolls, Easy Bake Ovens, and play kitchen sets) groom us for domesticity. We're groomed to make things better or to make things sweeter through service. In our most innocent of thought patterns, we believe that a man will value the service and care we present to him. I know it sounds crazy, but women believe that loving a man and treating him with love automatically binds him to her. I'm sorry to tell you, but men and women are built so differently.
One major difference is that women tend to meditate on things. Our imaginations drift to the "I wonder would it be like" phase, and we quickly fill in the blanks. When I was about ten years, I knew I was going to marry Michael Jackson. I slept with the Victory Tour program under my pillow. I imagined what my life would be like in that world. Of course, I grew out of "love" with Michael and fell head over heels for New Edition member Johnny Gill. I imagined he would see me in the nosebleed seats and be smitten with my innocence. Of course that didn't pan out either, but I spent a lot of time imagining what it would be like.
Truth be told, Snow White, Cinderella, and all those other fairy tales taught us that Prince Charming would only have eyes for us. Smack yourself! This is not a fairy tale. Life has taught me that we don't know what we want. We are fickle creatures always looking for the next best thing. You can give your absolute best to a person, and they reject you. It is their right as a human being to decide you are not what they desire. It is your right as a woman to guard your heart. We give our hearts away too easily- like Tic-Tacs after eating onion rings.
Of course when our heart is broken (and it will be broken), some of us will point at a man and place all the blame on him. The same rhetoric is usually spewed like venom from our mouths. "I gave you the best years of my life"! "I gave you everything!" It might sound like I'm being insensitive, but I'm not because I've made the same tragic mistakes as many of you. Like Frank Sinatra sang, "I did it my way." The problem is that our way doesn't work. If we're really honest with ourselves, we made a lot of wrong choices. We gave our hearts, minds, and bodies to men who were not ready or able to handle such precious things. But we gave our treasures away in hopes of a trade off. In hopes that men would really see the value in us. Look, we don't give the Hope Diamond to a newborn baby because we know the baby can't understand it's value. Why would we give our treasures to someone who is not mature enough to handle. A matter of fact, when women do such things, we show we are not mature enough to value the treasure God placed in us. If we did understand our value, we would protect it more. Let me show you what I mean.
Two days before my 17th birthday I was introduced to a young man. Our first unofficial date was to Dorney Park, and he treated me like a princess. I fell quickly for him, and in a few days we were "" "officially" dating. What was interesting about this relationship was that ALL of his siblings told me not to date him. They explained that he had another side that wasn't so pleasant. Of course, I ignored the warnings. What transpired next? Five years of unadulterated hell. Makeups and breakups. Infidelities on both sides. Another woman pregnant. Marrying another woman that he dated while he was with me. What was sad was that I didn't want to let him go. I told people that I loved him, but now I know the truth. I just didn't want another woman to get the benefits after I had put in the time. Now days, I laugh about it. What benefits? We knew nothing about each other. We weren't even friends. I had given my treasure to an individual that had not earned it. He was incapable of valuing me because he had his own issues. Truth is I failed me. He didn't fail me. Within the first thirty days of our relationship, I saw all the signs. Instead of walking away, I stayed because I wanted it to work out. If maturity means acknowledging your flaws, I am mature.
What's my point? In this country, we are allowed to pick our mates. This means we have a huge responsibility to ourselves and all those that will be impacted by our decision. Spend time with God and let Him direct you. I promise you if you let God lead you, 90% of your relationship drama will immediately cease because you learn that there are some men you shouldn't ever consider dating. Learn what God says about you. Meditate and treasure His view of you. Let His desire lead you and receive His best.
As a bow to this gift, please take the time to view a clip of Taraji P. Henson's view about relationships. It's a great way to evaluate your own standards.
Click here to see Taraji P. Henson's view on dating.
Learn to value yourself before anyone else can valu
Sunday, April 12, 2015
Mediocre No More!
As I drove home a few days ago, tears slowly began to fill my eyes. "Why am I so mediocre?" constantly bombarded my thoughts like a hail storm on delicate crystal. I know to the average person it seems like such a ridiculous thought, but the world is filled with such exceptional people and things. It was sad to admit that I wasn't one of those exceptional creations.
When I looked back at my life, all I could see was how I was so average. I wasn't the prettiest girl by far. To be honest, boys didn't even notice me until 8th grade. (That's about the time that I learned the power of cleavage, tight pants, and short skirts.) I couldn't really draw, sing, or dance, but I went to a magnet high school where I was surrounded by artists and musicians. Even as a student, I was mediocre. I never desired straight A's or to be the valedictorian. Middle of the road is where I was comfortable.
My one clear strength was that I worked hard. I came from a family that believed in going the extra mile. No one could say I was lazy. First one into work and last one was out was my motto, but I never desired to move up in position. This mindset satisfied me until a few years ago. It was my 40th birthday, and I realized that I had not fulfilled one dream. You know what I mean by dreams, don't you? Those dreams that your adolescent mind conceived in your free time. The belief that you could be or do anything was always at the forefront of my thinking.
Fast forward three decades and I had what I thought I wanted. A stable job, loving family, and great friends. But I still felt mediocre. Why did everyone else seem so amazing but I was just...mediocre? Then, the Holy Spirit spoke to me and told me to look up the word mediocre. Merriam-Webster defines mediocre as "of moderate or low quality, value, ability, or performance, ordinary, or so-so."
At that very moment, I was filled with conviction. By calling myself mediocre, I was saying that God had created something mediocre, of low quality, or so-so. I was advertising that I served a mediocre God who didn't put much thought in to His design. How offensive is that? God is a God of planning perfection. Anything less would be opposite of His character. Mark 7:37 declares that God does all things well. Did you hear me? All things! God formed Adam out of ordinary dirt, breathed His breath in Adam, and created something extraordinary. This means I am extraordinary. You are extraordinary. The key is getting this thinking in our Spirits, and there is only one way in which to do this- learn what God says about you.
What Does God Say About His Children
- I am God's workmanship created to perform good works. For we are God’s [own] handiwork (His workmanship), [a]recreated in Christ Jesus, [born anew] that we may do those good works which God predestined (planned beforehand) for us [taking paths which He prepared ahead of time], that we should walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us to live].'' Ephesians 2:10
- I am fearfully and wonderfully made. "I will confess and praise You for You are fearful and wonderful and for the awful wonder of my birth! Wonderful are Your works, and that my inner self knows right well." Psalm 139:14
- I am a child of God. "But to as many as did receive and welcome Him, He gave the authority (power, privilege, right) to become the children of God, that is, to those who believe in (adhere to, trust in, and rely on) His name." John 1:12
- I am a friend of Jesus. I do not call you servants (slaves) any longer, for the servant does not know what his master is doing (working out). But I have called you My friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from My Father. [I have revealed to you everything that I have learned from Him.] John 15:15
- I am chosen, holy, and blameless before God. "Even as [in His love] He chose us [actually picked us out for Himself as His own] in Christ before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy (consecrated and set apart for Him) and blameless in His sight, even above reproach, before Him in love." Ephesians 1:4
Moving Past Mediocre
So how did I move past mediocre? How did I realize who I was and whose I was? I moved past mediocrity by planting God's Word in my heart and allowing it to take root. What grew from those seeds were wonderful realities of God's extraordinary craftsmanship. God has given me numerous talents and abilities: writer, minister, worshiper, helper, and teacher. God is developing these gifts for a greater purpose and His ultimate delight. There is absolutely, positively, no mediocrity in me. And guess what? There is not an ounce of mediocrity in you!
Dear Brothers and Sisters:
You are fearfully and wonderfully made by a perfect God for a perfect purpose. Spend time with your Father and allow Him to groom you for His glory.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
The Microtears of Correction
Recently, I was working out at the gym. My goal for the day- strengthening my muscles. As I went through my routine, I had an interesting question. How exactly are muscles strengthened? I knew it had something to do with resistance, but I had no idea how the process actually worked. The Holy Spirit prompted me to do research on the topic.
When I began to do the research, I discovered something remarkable about the building of muscle. It is not the lifting of weights that builds the muscle but the recovery after the resistance training that builds the muscle. Whenever you lift weights, you are causing trauma or microtears to your muscles. In other words, parts of your muscle cells are being destroyed. The body's response to this trauma is to to repair it as well as replace the dead muscle cells with more cells. This leads to increase in muscle mass. Even more interesting is the fact that if you lift weights daily you will actually hinder your muscle development. This is because you are not allowing the muscles to recover from, replace, and increase your damaged muscle cells.
When I began to do the research, I discovered something remarkable about the building of muscle. It is not the lifting of weights that builds the muscle but the recovery after the resistance training that builds the muscle. Whenever you lift weights, you are causing trauma or microtears to your muscles. In other words, parts of your muscle cells are being destroyed. The body's response to this trauma is to to repair it as well as replace the dead muscle cells with more cells. This leads to increase in muscle mass. Even more interesting is the fact that if you lift weights daily you will actually hinder your muscle development. This is because you are not allowing the muscles to recover from, replace, and increase your damaged muscle cells.
Correction and Spiritual Muscle
This is the same process God uses when He corrects us. God doesn't tell us all of our flaws in some long drawn out list. He knows that kind of exposure would crush us. How could we even hope to conquer that list next to an omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient, and most perfect God? Instead, God allows circumstances in our lives to reveal areas that we need to improve. The purpose of these circumstances or traumas is to reveal and destroy cells that are not like God. And like resistance training we are in pain at the revelation. There are moments where we seem paralyzed by the pain and wish it would come to an end. However, if you allow God to saturate your damaged flesh, He will renew and replace it with spiritual cells that will make you stronger and more of a threat to the Enemy. You see, it is the trauma and recovery that makes spiritual muscles grow.
An Ongoing Process
Any fitness trainer will tell you that resistance training is a life-long process. When you started training, you may have only been able to handle 10 pound free weights, but as your muscle mass grows you must increase your level of resistance. 10 pounds to 20 pounds to 30 pounds and so on. If you don't increase the resistance, your muscle growth will become stagnate. Like physical resistance training, spiritual correction and development is an ongoing process. In other words, you should always expect new and more challenging levels of resistance to come against you. God is in the maturing and development business. He he has to tear down the areas in you that are not like Him, so He can build you up in His strength, power, and overall anointing. Don't be distressed. God always allows the recovery time you need before He promotes you to the next level of resistance training. Please note: God may not give you the amount of time you want, but He will give you the amount of time you need to recover.
I Samuel 17:34-37 says, "But David said to Saul, “Your servant has been keeping his father’s sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.”
David learned from his earlier traumas with the lion and the bear what God could do. Do you think God would have made David's next challenge a battle with a grasshopper? Of course not! It was a colossal battle against family and idolatry. David was the runt of his brothers. When he came to the site of the battle, his brothers ridiculed him. After all, look at this nobody who says he can beat this somebody named Goliath. Goliath the giant. Goliath the arrogant. Goliath the idol worshiper. Goliath the defier of God of the Angel Armies. David, strengthened from his past resistance training experiences and filled with the renewed and replaced spiritual cells of God, used one stone and the anointing of God to destroy the Goliath.
The Critical Spirit and Correction
Have you ever felt a yearning to alert somebody of their many flaws? It's a common urge when you feel like another person is very faulty. Too often, we feel it's our duty to alert them to the sea of issues in their life. We have the list and want to give it to them. One must be very cautious with this desire. Remember, God didn't give you your list of issues (and you have many) at one time. He knew the right time and allowed the right circumstances to cause those microtears in your muscles. He allowed you to master the 10 pound weights before you moved on to more intense training.
When we give a person a list of what we consider their shortcomings, it's like making a 500 lb man try to lift a 300 pound weight. The man is out of shape and lifting a 300 pound weight will damage his body. God starts where we are and develops a spiritual fitness plan to get us where we need to be. That's proper training. That's love. That's God!
More importantly, if God didn't ask you to point out somebody else's issues, just keep your mouth closed! If they are doing something against the Word of God, pray for them. Allow God to handle it. Maybe God is not ready to address that area in their life. Better yet, maybe the issue is YOU! Why is it when people don't do things the way we would do them we want to say the other person has an issue? Maybe God is trying to teach you something. Imagine that! And if God wants you to address an issue with another person allow the Holy Spirit to give you the wisdom to counsel effectively. As a Believer, you want to draw the person closer to God through His correction and not away from God by your condemnation.
The Cool Down- So what have we learned?
- Correction is a process. God allows forms of resistance to tear down negative strongholds and provides a period of recovery to replace the damaged cells with godly strength.
- Spiritual growth is ongoing and increases through greater resistance and more of God.
- Seek God's face before correcting others. Only God knows the correct timing and methodology to use.
- Don't ever give a person a list of flaws. No one can handle or address that level of criticism. God didn't do it to us, so we can't do it to others.
- Remember that what may be a flaw to you may be considered an area of strength by God. You're not the measuring stick of how things should be done. God is a God of variety and methodologies.
Friday, October 12, 2012
"A Letter to Man"
Dear Reader,
This entry is a departure from my usual format, but I think it will touch you just the same. I believe that the male species is under attack. Too often, women talk about how bad men are to them. How much pain and destruction they cause. The problem with that discussion is that it benefits no one. It uplifts no one. Let's try look at man the way God sees His wonderful creation.
Enjoy,
Dapoet
____________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Man,
For the first time in my life I see you as God sees you. No longer are you a burden filled with excuses, carried by society, pardoned by the unknowledgeable. Now, I see you for who you really are. A MANifestation of God's unimaginable raw power. Every curve a testimony to His craftsmanship. Your muscles a prophetic reflection of His strength. As opposition makes each muscle strengthen is as opposition makes God's radiant glory even more expansive. What a wonder you are...MAN.
And how my heart breaks for you. How you've walked away from the very Foundation that makes you great. Captured by the lights and glamour of it all, you've given up. The serpent's sweet smell has called you into the night to be decapitated by temptation. And when the sun rises you return to me broken and bruised and defeated. The same abuse you suffered you inflict and afflict on me. How your heart has strayed from Him and therefore from me.
I had given up on you. Counted you out. Tried to move on. But He said, "No!" He told me I was your intercessor. The weapon Satan had not counted on. "The Help" He purposed for you in Creation. Oh how He loves you. I do too, you know. Because His love lives deeply and richly in me-- I love you.
So what do you say to all this? Do you deny His gift? Continue to stray? Or do you reconcile? Be blessed from now until...until forever. I love you.
Awaiting Your Response,
Woman
Monday, August 20, 2012
"Run, Joseph, Run"
One of my favorite stories in the Bible is the story of Joseph. It has all the makings of a great soap opera (jealousy, anger, betrayal, sexual tension, and the rags to riches plot that we all love). But there is so much more to the story. More than is traditionally told in Sunday School. It's about leaving no room for sin. Let's do a quick review.
The Joseph Run-Down
Joseph was the beloved son of Jacob (Israel). It was clear that Jacob loved Joseph more than all his other sons. Scripture says Jacob loved Joseph because he was the son of his old age (Genesis 37:3-4). While I believe this is true, I, also, think Jacob loved Joseph because his true love, Rachael, gave birth to him. (Remember: Leah, Jacob's first wife, was a result of the old bait and switch trick by his Uncle Laban.) Anyway, Joseph experienced a prophetic dream in which his whole family bowed down to him (Genesis 37:5-11). This, along with a multi-colored coat which identified him as his father's favorite, cemented the jealousy and hatred his brothers felt for him. When the opportunity arose, his brothers cast him into a pit and sold him in to slavery(Genesis 37:23-24, 28).
In Egypt, Joseph was purchased by Potiphar, one of Pharaoh's officials, the manager of Pharaoh's household. God anointed Joseph in his duties, and Potiphar became very fond of him. Joseph became Potiphar's personal assistant and had complete run of Potiphar's house. Now, this is where the story gets really interesting:
(Genesis 39: 6-15)
6-7 Joseph was a strikingly handsome man. As time went on, his master's wife became infatuated with Joseph and one day said, "Sleep with me."
8-9 He wouldn't do it. He said to his master's wife, "Look, with me here, my master doesn't give a second thought to anything that goes on here—he's put me in charge of everything he owns. He treats me as an equal. The only thing he hasn't turned over to me is you. You're his wife, after all! How could I violate his trust and sin against God?" 10 She pestered him day after day after day, but he stood his ground. He refused to go to bed with her. 11-15 On one of these days he came to the house to do his work and none of the household servants happened to be there. She grabbed him by his cloak, saying, "Sleep with me!" He left his coat in her hand and ran out of the house. When she realized that he had left his coat in her hand and run outside, she called to her house servants: "Look—this Hebrew shows up and before you know it he's trying to seduce us. He tried to make love to me but I yelled as loud as I could. With all my yelling and screaming, he left his coat beside me here and ran outside."
"Run, Joseph, Run"
Looking through carnal eyes, Joseph had a right to sin. He was a great kid. Honored God and his parents. Based upon his prophetic dream, Joseph was slated to be in some serious leadership role. Instead of great things happening to Joseph, he was despised by his brothers and sold for a price. Joseph was stripped from his mother's love and father's protection. Then, he was sold as a slave. While it was true he'd garnered favor from Potiphar, it still wasn't the same as having complete freedom. He wasn't allowed to run his own life. Scripture doesn't speak of Joseph having a social life or love interest. There were still so many limitations!
If anybody had a reason to sin, wouldn't it be Joseph? Seemingly, God had allowed him to be robbed of his parents and his freedom. Being obedient to God hadn't quite paid off in the way he'd imagined. Now, this woman is throwing herself at him day after day. She was his for the taking (if he wanted her)! Don't you think Joseph may have considered the offer for a split second? There's a good chance he did. I don't know many heterosexual males that wouldn't have considered the opportunity. However, instead of giving in to temptation, he ran for his life!
Don't I Have a Reason to Sin?
Did you know there are times Christians feel they have a right to sin? They feel they've tried to play by the rules and nothing has worked out for them. Their mind says, "Lord, I waited for you. I prayed, fasted, and honored you in every way I knew how. I believed what you showed me in my spirit, dreams, visions, and through your Word. Nothing has come to pass. Following you hasn't worked out for me."
The truth is you will never earn the right to sin. As a Believer, we are to avoid sin because we love God more. God sacrificed His best for us; we should give Him our best. If God doesn't give us what we want when we want, we shouldn't throw away His code of conduct. Don't we see this so many times?
God, you didn't bring me my husband, so I deserve to pick my own!
God, my wife isn't sexually satisfying me, so I deserve to have an affair!
God, my boss isn't paying me my fair wages, so I deserve to skim a little off the top!
It goes on and on. God doesn't give us what we want, so we rationalize our disobedience. Look at Abraham and Sara. God promised them an heir in their old age. Sara couldn't wait and took matters in to her own hands. She allowed Abraham to sleep with Hagar (Notice he didn't refuse the proposal, but that's another topic for another day). Hagar gave birth to Ishmael. Then, Sara gave birth to Issac. To this very day, the lineage of Issac and Ishmael still have a heavy disdain for each other.
What would happen if we just trusted God? Yes, it can be very hard. There are things that we long for. Remember that God has something special just for you! Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." However, deciding to sin is never a beneficial resolution to the issue. Sin equals death. It could be physical death, relational death, financial death, death of peace, etc. Something has to die.
One More Thing
Just in case you want to use the "I just couldn't help myself !" excuse please remember God always provides a way of escape. I Corinthians 10:13 states, "No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it." In other words, RUN! JUMP! HOBBLE! Do whatever you have to do to remove yourself from the situation. If it's pornography, turn the cable and Internet off. If it's gluttony, throw all the fattening food away. If it's gossip, place yourself on a silence fast. He always provides a way out; you just have to choose to take it. The way out may not be easy. It may not be pleasant. But it is critical! In spite of what Joseph's body told him, he ran! In spite of how fine she looked that day, he ran! He ran from sin and to God.
Happily Ever After
Joseph went through trials after making this critical decision. He endured false accusations and imprisonment, but oh my in the end! In the end, he was promoted to second-in-command under Pharaoh. He was reunited with his family. God used him to deliver his people from starvation. Joseph gained much wealth. He married and had children of his own to love. His obedience gave new life to him and the people connected to him.
Dear Child of God,
I know it seems hard right now. Nothing is working out how you thought it would. You've prayed but the heavens are as brass. Don't be discouraged. God gave His very best (Jesus) just so you wouldn't be eternally separated from Him. He hears your prayers. This is a faith walk. Yet, will you trust Him. Pass your test. Prepare for your breakthrough.
I do love you,
Dapoet
The Joseph Run-Down
Joseph was the beloved son of Jacob (Israel). It was clear that Jacob loved Joseph more than all his other sons. Scripture says Jacob loved Joseph because he was the son of his old age (Genesis 37:3-4). While I believe this is true, I, also, think Jacob loved Joseph because his true love, Rachael, gave birth to him. (Remember: Leah, Jacob's first wife, was a result of the old bait and switch trick by his Uncle Laban.) Anyway, Joseph experienced a prophetic dream in which his whole family bowed down to him (Genesis 37:5-11). This, along with a multi-colored coat which identified him as his father's favorite, cemented the jealousy and hatred his brothers felt for him. When the opportunity arose, his brothers cast him into a pit and sold him in to slavery(Genesis 37:23-24, 28).
In Egypt, Joseph was purchased by Potiphar, one of Pharaoh's officials, the manager of Pharaoh's household. God anointed Joseph in his duties, and Potiphar became very fond of him. Joseph became Potiphar's personal assistant and had complete run of Potiphar's house. Now, this is where the story gets really interesting:
(Genesis 39: 6-15)
6-7 Joseph was a strikingly handsome man. As time went on, his master's wife became infatuated with Joseph and one day said, "Sleep with me."
8-9 He wouldn't do it. He said to his master's wife, "Look, with me here, my master doesn't give a second thought to anything that goes on here—he's put me in charge of everything he owns. He treats me as an equal. The only thing he hasn't turned over to me is you. You're his wife, after all! How could I violate his trust and sin against God?" 10 She pestered him day after day after day, but he stood his ground. He refused to go to bed with her. 11-15 On one of these days he came to the house to do his work and none of the household servants happened to be there. She grabbed him by his cloak, saying, "Sleep with me!" He left his coat in her hand and ran out of the house. When she realized that he had left his coat in her hand and run outside, she called to her house servants: "Look—this Hebrew shows up and before you know it he's trying to seduce us. He tried to make love to me but I yelled as loud as I could. With all my yelling and screaming, he left his coat beside me here and ran outside."
"Run, Joseph, Run"
Looking through carnal eyes, Joseph had a right to sin. He was a great kid. Honored God and his parents. Based upon his prophetic dream, Joseph was slated to be in some serious leadership role. Instead of great things happening to Joseph, he was despised by his brothers and sold for a price. Joseph was stripped from his mother's love and father's protection. Then, he was sold as a slave. While it was true he'd garnered favor from Potiphar, it still wasn't the same as having complete freedom. He wasn't allowed to run his own life. Scripture doesn't speak of Joseph having a social life or love interest. There were still so many limitations!
If anybody had a reason to sin, wouldn't it be Joseph? Seemingly, God had allowed him to be robbed of his parents and his freedom. Being obedient to God hadn't quite paid off in the way he'd imagined. Now, this woman is throwing herself at him day after day. She was his for the taking (if he wanted her)! Don't you think Joseph may have considered the offer for a split second? There's a good chance he did. I don't know many heterosexual males that wouldn't have considered the opportunity. However, instead of giving in to temptation, he ran for his life!
Don't I Have a Reason to Sin?
Did you know there are times Christians feel they have a right to sin? They feel they've tried to play by the rules and nothing has worked out for them. Their mind says, "Lord, I waited for you. I prayed, fasted, and honored you in every way I knew how. I believed what you showed me in my spirit, dreams, visions, and through your Word. Nothing has come to pass. Following you hasn't worked out for me."
The truth is you will never earn the right to sin. As a Believer, we are to avoid sin because we love God more. God sacrificed His best for us; we should give Him our best. If God doesn't give us what we want when we want, we shouldn't throw away His code of conduct. Don't we see this so many times?
God, you didn't bring me my husband, so I deserve to pick my own!
God, my wife isn't sexually satisfying me, so I deserve to have an affair!
God, my boss isn't paying me my fair wages, so I deserve to skim a little off the top!
It goes on and on. God doesn't give us what we want, so we rationalize our disobedience. Look at Abraham and Sara. God promised them an heir in their old age. Sara couldn't wait and took matters in to her own hands. She allowed Abraham to sleep with Hagar (Notice he didn't refuse the proposal, but that's another topic for another day). Hagar gave birth to Ishmael. Then, Sara gave birth to Issac. To this very day, the lineage of Issac and Ishmael still have a heavy disdain for each other.
What would happen if we just trusted God? Yes, it can be very hard. There are things that we long for. Remember that God has something special just for you! Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." However, deciding to sin is never a beneficial resolution to the issue. Sin equals death. It could be physical death, relational death, financial death, death of peace, etc. Something has to die.
One More Thing
Just in case you want to use the "I just couldn't help myself !" excuse please remember God always provides a way of escape. I Corinthians 10:13 states, "No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it." In other words, RUN! JUMP! HOBBLE! Do whatever you have to do to remove yourself from the situation. If it's pornography, turn the cable and Internet off. If it's gluttony, throw all the fattening food away. If it's gossip, place yourself on a silence fast. He always provides a way out; you just have to choose to take it. The way out may not be easy. It may not be pleasant. But it is critical! In spite of what Joseph's body told him, he ran! In spite of how fine she looked that day, he ran! He ran from sin and to God.
Happily Ever After
Joseph went through trials after making this critical decision. He endured false accusations and imprisonment, but oh my in the end! In the end, he was promoted to second-in-command under Pharaoh. He was reunited with his family. God used him to deliver his people from starvation. Joseph gained much wealth. He married and had children of his own to love. His obedience gave new life to him and the people connected to him.
Dear Child of God,
I know it seems hard right now. Nothing is working out how you thought it would. You've prayed but the heavens are as brass. Don't be discouraged. God gave His very best (Jesus) just so you wouldn't be eternally separated from Him. He hears your prayers. This is a faith walk. Yet, will you trust Him. Pass your test. Prepare for your breakthrough.
I do love you,
Dapoet
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Who's Steering the Ship?
Acts 1:6-10
They [Paul and Timothy] went to Phrygia, and then on through the region of Galatia. Their plan was to turn west into Asia province, but the Holy Spirit blocked that route. So they went to Mysia and tried to go north to Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus wouldn't let them go there either. Proceeding on through Mysia, they went down to the seaport Troas.
That night Paul had a dream: A Macedonian stood on the far shore and called across the sea, "Come over to Macedonia and help us!" The dream gave Paul his map. We went to work at once getting things ready to cross over to Macedonia. All the pieces had come together. We knew now for sure that God had called us to preach the good news to the Europeans.
In the Beginning
One of the most exciting times of my life was when I truly decided to surrender my life to God. Although I was raised a Christian, I did not spend my childhood and teenage years active in the faith. I went to parochial school, so I was familiar with the Bible. Ocassionally, I went to church, so I was familiar with the "church" experience. But I had never developed a real relationship with God. It wasn't until my early adult years that I realized I had no idea how to run my life. A series of painful experiences had cemented that fact firmly in my head. I knew it was time to go back to basics.
Amazing things happened when I recommitted my life to Christ. God answered my prayers faster than delivery from Domino's Pizza. Wow! Is this what serving God is like? Instant answers! Why didn't I recommit years ago? This went on for the first few years of my renewed walk with the Lord. God was so clear and things moved so fast that I became the modern day Gideon seeing the fleece wet and dry (See Judges 6). Unfortunately, this didn't last forever. The instant responses and miracles I experienced from God had longer intermissions. I was no longer a Baby Christian. What's a Baby Christian? It's a person that needs results quickly or they will stop believing in God. Think about it. Babies need to be fed every couple of hours. When they are hungry, they kick, scream, and have a full out tantrum until their needs are met; however, as the child grows older, they understand that there are set times to eat (breakfast, lunch, and dinner). There is no longer a need to scream and shout. At the appointed time, the child will get what they need. It's like that in our walk with Christ. I was no longer a baby; it was time to grow up.
From Milk to Meat
I would be a liar if I told you I didn't like the taste of milk. Instant gratification is a wonderful feeling but a poor character builder. To trust God, you have to go through something! You have to encounter something that appears bigger than you and in which your efforts seem futile. You have to wait for God and keep your ears close to Heaven for His direction. It is in these times that you do what you can but leave plenty of room for God to intervene.
The Apostle Paul was on fire for God. He loved God with every fiber of his being and sought to share the Gospel of Christ to the world. After all, Christ commanded that the Word of God be taught to the ends of the Earth. In Acts 16, this is clearly what Paul sought to do. He made a plan of where he felt he wanted to go, "They [Paul and Timothy] went to Phrygia, and then on through the region of Galatia. Their plan was to turn west into Asia province..." (Acts 16:6). However, the Holy Spirit barred them from taking that particular route, "but the Holy Spirit blocked that route." Notice that the Holy Spirit blocked the route but didn't tell Paul and Timothy where to go instead. Less mature Christians would've had a breakdown at this point. The monologue would go a little something like this, "God, you told me to preach your Word to the Earth. I studied, planned, and am ready to preach. Now, you block me from completing the mission. Plus, you won't even tell me where you want me to go." Paul did none of this. Instead, he simply changed course, "So they went to Mysia and tried to go north to Bithynia..." (Acts 16:7). Again, the Holy Spirit blocked their way, "but the Spirit of Jesus wouldn't let them go there either." Wow! Twice Paul and Timothy did what they thought God wanted them to do; twice they were stopped.
Dinner is Served
Paul and Timothy could've been discouraged by the blocking of the Holy Spirit. They could've turned around and went home. I mean let's keep it real. The ships they sailed on were not cruise ships. Paul and Timothy weren't on the deck of the S.S. Carnival sunbathing while eating lox and sipping virgin pina coladas. This journey was far from a vacation. Moreover, they didn't see themselves as failures because they were heading in the wrong direction. Instead, they believed God would direct them at the appointed time, "That night Paul had a dream: A Macedonian stood on the far shore and called across the sea, "Come over to Macedonia and help us!" The dream gave Paul his map. We went to work at once getting things ready to cross over to Macedonia. All the pieces had come together. We knew now for sure that God had called us to preach the good news to the Europeans" (Acts 16:9-10). Paul and Timothy let God steer the ship. They understood that they were on God's time.
So often, we give God our timeline. God you know I need this done by such and such a date. God's Blackberry isn't broken. He doesn't need a personal assistant to remind Him when something is needed. What He is trying to do is make you trust Him. Will you trust him in the 23rd hour and the 59th minute? Do you believe that He is working in the midst of the silence? He is working on your behalf.
While I'm Waiting
What do you do while you are waiting?
1. Live. Too many times, people stop living while their waiting on God. Trust me. God doesn't work any faster because you stop living. He doesn't move up His plan because you're having a tantrum and refusing to do anything else until He answers.
2. Stay Connected. Continue to keep your spiritual ears sharp by staying in the Word of God and praying. By staying in the Word, your spirit man remains encouraged. And no doubt about it, when God finally speaks to you, you WILL hear Him.
3. Be Thankful. I know it's hard to see waiting as a blessing but it is. It's really a promotion. This is God saying that you're ready to go to the next level. He's watched you grow, and it's time to take the training wheels off. When the training wheels come off, God allows and trusts you to go farther and encounter new environments.
Child of God,
You can do it! I believe in you. More importantly, God believes in you! Live. Stay Connected. Be Thankful. Watch God move on your behalf!
They [Paul and Timothy] went to Phrygia, and then on through the region of Galatia. Their plan was to turn west into Asia province, but the Holy Spirit blocked that route. So they went to Mysia and tried to go north to Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus wouldn't let them go there either. Proceeding on through Mysia, they went down to the seaport Troas.
That night Paul had a dream: A Macedonian stood on the far shore and called across the sea, "Come over to Macedonia and help us!" The dream gave Paul his map. We went to work at once getting things ready to cross over to Macedonia. All the pieces had come together. We knew now for sure that God had called us to preach the good news to the Europeans.
In the Beginning
One of the most exciting times of my life was when I truly decided to surrender my life to God. Although I was raised a Christian, I did not spend my childhood and teenage years active in the faith. I went to parochial school, so I was familiar with the Bible. Ocassionally, I went to church, so I was familiar with the "church" experience. But I had never developed a real relationship with God. It wasn't until my early adult years that I realized I had no idea how to run my life. A series of painful experiences had cemented that fact firmly in my head. I knew it was time to go back to basics.
Amazing things happened when I recommitted my life to Christ. God answered my prayers faster than delivery from Domino's Pizza. Wow! Is this what serving God is like? Instant answers! Why didn't I recommit years ago? This went on for the first few years of my renewed walk with the Lord. God was so clear and things moved so fast that I became the modern day Gideon seeing the fleece wet and dry (See Judges 6). Unfortunately, this didn't last forever. The instant responses and miracles I experienced from God had longer intermissions. I was no longer a Baby Christian. What's a Baby Christian? It's a person that needs results quickly or they will stop believing in God. Think about it. Babies need to be fed every couple of hours. When they are hungry, they kick, scream, and have a full out tantrum until their needs are met; however, as the child grows older, they understand that there are set times to eat (breakfast, lunch, and dinner). There is no longer a need to scream and shout. At the appointed time, the child will get what they need. It's like that in our walk with Christ. I was no longer a baby; it was time to grow up.
From Milk to Meat
I would be a liar if I told you I didn't like the taste of milk. Instant gratification is a wonderful feeling but a poor character builder. To trust God, you have to go through something! You have to encounter something that appears bigger than you and in which your efforts seem futile. You have to wait for God and keep your ears close to Heaven for His direction. It is in these times that you do what you can but leave plenty of room for God to intervene.
The Apostle Paul was on fire for God. He loved God with every fiber of his being and sought to share the Gospel of Christ to the world. After all, Christ commanded that the Word of God be taught to the ends of the Earth. In Acts 16, this is clearly what Paul sought to do. He made a plan of where he felt he wanted to go, "They [Paul and Timothy] went to Phrygia, and then on through the region of Galatia. Their plan was to turn west into Asia province..." (Acts 16:6). However, the Holy Spirit barred them from taking that particular route, "but the Holy Spirit blocked that route." Notice that the Holy Spirit blocked the route but didn't tell Paul and Timothy where to go instead. Less mature Christians would've had a breakdown at this point. The monologue would go a little something like this, "God, you told me to preach your Word to the Earth. I studied, planned, and am ready to preach. Now, you block me from completing the mission. Plus, you won't even tell me where you want me to go." Paul did none of this. Instead, he simply changed course, "So they went to Mysia and tried to go north to Bithynia..." (Acts 16:7). Again, the Holy Spirit blocked their way, "but the Spirit of Jesus wouldn't let them go there either." Wow! Twice Paul and Timothy did what they thought God wanted them to do; twice they were stopped.
Dinner is Served
Paul and Timothy could've been discouraged by the blocking of the Holy Spirit. They could've turned around and went home. I mean let's keep it real. The ships they sailed on were not cruise ships. Paul and Timothy weren't on the deck of the S.S. Carnival sunbathing while eating lox and sipping virgin pina coladas. This journey was far from a vacation. Moreover, they didn't see themselves as failures because they were heading in the wrong direction. Instead, they believed God would direct them at the appointed time, "That night Paul had a dream: A Macedonian stood on the far shore and called across the sea, "Come over to Macedonia and help us!" The dream gave Paul his map. We went to work at once getting things ready to cross over to Macedonia. All the pieces had come together. We knew now for sure that God had called us to preach the good news to the Europeans" (Acts 16:9-10). Paul and Timothy let God steer the ship. They understood that they were on God's time.
So often, we give God our timeline. God you know I need this done by such and such a date. God's Blackberry isn't broken. He doesn't need a personal assistant to remind Him when something is needed. What He is trying to do is make you trust Him. Will you trust him in the 23rd hour and the 59th minute? Do you believe that He is working in the midst of the silence? He is working on your behalf.
While I'm Waiting
What do you do while you are waiting?
1. Live. Too many times, people stop living while their waiting on God. Trust me. God doesn't work any faster because you stop living. He doesn't move up His plan because you're having a tantrum and refusing to do anything else until He answers.
2. Stay Connected. Continue to keep your spiritual ears sharp by staying in the Word of God and praying. By staying in the Word, your spirit man remains encouraged. And no doubt about it, when God finally speaks to you, you WILL hear Him.
3. Be Thankful. I know it's hard to see waiting as a blessing but it is. It's really a promotion. This is God saying that you're ready to go to the next level. He's watched you grow, and it's time to take the training wheels off. When the training wheels come off, God allows and trusts you to go farther and encounter new environments.
Child of God,
You can do it! I believe in you. More importantly, God believes in you! Live. Stay Connected. Be Thankful. Watch God move on your behalf!
Monday, January 23, 2012
Sass Be Seated!
If you didn't know this about me, I've been black all my life. Yes. Almost 39 years of complete blackness. Actually, I've been black so long that I've mastered the black sister-girl "sassitude". Eye-rolling..check. Lip smacking...check. Finger waving...check. Wise cracking...check. Most importantly, male spirit breaking...check checkity check! There was something about growing up in a community where women brought home the bacon and fried it up in the pan that made it very easy for me to disrespect a man (Yes, I know it rhymes). In my experience, most men were physical and emotional robbers. Everyday, I saw them breaking into cars and homes to get what they wanted. The news showed me that they were rapist, adulterers, abusers, and liars. According to my reality, men were disappointments.
The women around me had to be strong. They had to put men in their place. Women had to let men know their presence was no longer needed. And since men cornered the market on physical strength, we picked up the power of verbal warfare. Proverbs 25:24 says "Better to live alone in a tumbledown shack than share a mansion with a nagging spouse." Women have the wonderful ability to be encouragers, motivators, and deterrents to anger if we let God have His way. God did not create us to be carnal soldiers thriving to put a man in his place. We can know our value without emasculating the value of man.
Look at Abigail in the Bible. She was married to Nabal. A man's whose name literally meant fool. I'm sure he was a fool from sun up to sun down. Surely, there were times she just wanted to tell him about himself, but Abigail chose to model her Father. She was Christ-like before Christ physically walked the Earth. When David came to kill Nabal for his disrespectful behavior, Abigail used godly wisdom and grace to handle the situation:
I Samuel 25: 23-34
As soon as Abigail saw David, she got off her donkey and fell on her knees at his feet, her face to the ground in homage, saying, "My master, let me take the blame! Let me speak to you. Listen to what I have to say. Don't dwell on what that brute Nabal did. He acts out the meaning of his name: Nabal, Fool. Foolishness oozes from him.
"I wasn't there when the young men my master sent arrived. I didn't see them. And now, my master, as God lives and as you live, God has kept you from this avenging murder—and may your enemies, all who seek my master's harm, end up like Nabal! Now take this gift that I, your servant girl, have brought to my master, and give it to the young men who follow in the steps of my master.
"Forgive my presumption! But God is at work in my master, developing a rule solid and dependable. My master fights God's battles! As long as you live no evil will stick to you. If anyone stands in your way, if anyone tries to get you out of the way, Know this: Your God-honored life is tightly bound
in the bundle of God-protected life; But the lives of your enemies will be hurled aside as a stone is thrown from a sling.
"When God completes all the goodness he has promised my master and sets you up as prince over Israel, my master will not have this dead weight in his heart, the guilt of an avenging murder. And when God has worked things for good for my master, remember me."
And David said, "Blessed be God, the God of Israel. He sent you to meet me! And blessed be your good sense! Bless you for keeping me from murder and taking charge of looking out for me. A close call! As God lives, the God of Israel who kept me from hurting you, if you had not come as quickly as you did, stopping me in my tracks, by morning there would have been nothing left of Nabal but dead meat."
Abigail could have encouraged David to kill her husband. She would have been set free from dealing with his foolishness. However, she saw a larger picture. A godly picture. She recognized David's destiny was to change a whole region not just her circumstance. Her gentle encouragement kept him on course. How empowering is that for a woman? Like childbirth, we have the gift to push life into a situation.
Here's a secret. The volume of your voice, your hands on your hips, and your quips make you as strong as...(wait for it, wait for it, wait for it) nothing. It is simply unattractive smoke and mirrors that you hope will make an impact. It does nothing in or for the Kingdom. A powerful woman understands that God didn't make her inferior. For she is powerful through her sword of influence. Yes. God has given us the power of influence. Abigail's influence protected David from being outside the Will of God. On the other hand, Jezebel's influence led to the destruction of her and her husband.
The next time a man disappoints you know that you have a choice. You can be smoke and mirrors with your scouring sass or you can speak God's Will in his life. Pray for men. Look around. Satan is out to destroy our families. He is starting with the man. Between incarceration, homosexuality, drug abuse, and plain old lack of morality, Satan seems to be working overtime. Let's get in place, so our men can be in place with God. Pray don't pummel.
I do love you chosen women of God,
Dapoet
The women around me had to be strong. They had to put men in their place. Women had to let men know their presence was no longer needed. And since men cornered the market on physical strength, we picked up the power of verbal warfare. Proverbs 25:24 says "Better to live alone in a tumbledown shack than share a mansion with a nagging spouse." Women have the wonderful ability to be encouragers, motivators, and deterrents to anger if we let God have His way. God did not create us to be carnal soldiers thriving to put a man in his place. We can know our value without emasculating the value of man.
Look at Abigail in the Bible. She was married to Nabal. A man's whose name literally meant fool. I'm sure he was a fool from sun up to sun down. Surely, there were times she just wanted to tell him about himself, but Abigail chose to model her Father. She was Christ-like before Christ physically walked the Earth. When David came to kill Nabal for his disrespectful behavior, Abigail used godly wisdom and grace to handle the situation:
I Samuel 25: 23-34
As soon as Abigail saw David, she got off her donkey and fell on her knees at his feet, her face to the ground in homage, saying, "My master, let me take the blame! Let me speak to you. Listen to what I have to say. Don't dwell on what that brute Nabal did. He acts out the meaning of his name: Nabal, Fool. Foolishness oozes from him.
"I wasn't there when the young men my master sent arrived. I didn't see them. And now, my master, as God lives and as you live, God has kept you from this avenging murder—and may your enemies, all who seek my master's harm, end up like Nabal! Now take this gift that I, your servant girl, have brought to my master, and give it to the young men who follow in the steps of my master.
"Forgive my presumption! But God is at work in my master, developing a rule solid and dependable. My master fights God's battles! As long as you live no evil will stick to you. If anyone stands in your way, if anyone tries to get you out of the way, Know this: Your God-honored life is tightly bound
in the bundle of God-protected life; But the lives of your enemies will be hurled aside as a stone is thrown from a sling.
"When God completes all the goodness he has promised my master and sets you up as prince over Israel, my master will not have this dead weight in his heart, the guilt of an avenging murder. And when God has worked things for good for my master, remember me."
And David said, "Blessed be God, the God of Israel. He sent you to meet me! And blessed be your good sense! Bless you for keeping me from murder and taking charge of looking out for me. A close call! As God lives, the God of Israel who kept me from hurting you, if you had not come as quickly as you did, stopping me in my tracks, by morning there would have been nothing left of Nabal but dead meat."
Abigail could have encouraged David to kill her husband. She would have been set free from dealing with his foolishness. However, she saw a larger picture. A godly picture. She recognized David's destiny was to change a whole region not just her circumstance. Her gentle encouragement kept him on course. How empowering is that for a woman? Like childbirth, we have the gift to push life into a situation.
Here's a secret. The volume of your voice, your hands on your hips, and your quips make you as strong as...(wait for it, wait for it, wait for it) nothing. It is simply unattractive smoke and mirrors that you hope will make an impact. It does nothing in or for the Kingdom. A powerful woman understands that God didn't make her inferior. For she is powerful through her sword of influence. Yes. God has given us the power of influence. Abigail's influence protected David from being outside the Will of God. On the other hand, Jezebel's influence led to the destruction of her and her husband.
The next time a man disappoints you know that you have a choice. You can be smoke and mirrors with your scouring sass or you can speak God's Will in his life. Pray for men. Look around. Satan is out to destroy our families. He is starting with the man. Between incarceration, homosexuality, drug abuse, and plain old lack of morality, Satan seems to be working overtime. Let's get in place, so our men can be in place with God. Pray don't pummel.
I do love you chosen women of God,
Dapoet
Monday, January 17, 2011
Who's the Real Winner?
Last week, I watched a documentary on video girls with an emphasis on Karrine Steffans. As I watched, I wondered to myself, "What does Karrine think she has won?" Clearly, she has fooled herself into believing that sex equals power and brings equity into the male-female dynamic. I see it quite differently. Let's take a quick walk through this world:
1. Karrine behaved and dressed in a very sexual way for auditions. If she couldn't meet that standard, the male producer would say she wasn't good enough.
2. When Karrine was selected for the video, she would have to perform some sexual act to be the head girl on the shoot. This sexual act may not be performed on the artist but on a member of his entourage. If she didn't satisfy them sexually, the men would say she wasn't good enough.
3. Karrine chose to have sex with any rap star in return for a few dollars and some possible travel. After all, that was what her body was worth.
4. Karrine allowed the body that was designed by God to be treated like a public toilet. Day in and day out bodily fluids filled her because the men felt that was all she was worth.
5. Karrine was a "jump off", a chick on the side not worthy to carry the title "Mrs." because that was all she was worth.
6. Karrine found herself separated from her child, strung out on drugs, and sleeping in a car because the men felt that was all she was worth.
7. Karrine wrote three books about her sexual romps because that's all she felt she was worth.
Wow, it's amazing. It seems to me that the men got the better side of this deal. Where was her liberation? Men decided her worth. They decided she was the sum of her body parts and nothing more.
Ladies, who decides your worth? Look at the Proverbs 31 woman. In the totality of her life, she was a wife, mother, and wise business woman. She didn't just have one trick in her bag.
Dear Daughters of the Most High God,
God took the time to breathe Himself into you. In that breath, you inhaled His compassion, gentleness, wisdom, nurturing, and creativity. In spite of what you see on television, you are more than the the sum total of your parts. Now, I'm not saying that it is a sin to be proud of every soft curve that God carved upon your frame. We should take the time for pampering ourselves. However, we should take more time displaying our character and integrity and let God promote our value. With God promoting our value, we no longer have to seek, bend, or break our backs to demonstrate our worth to the opposite gender. You are more than just your lips, just your hips, just your hair, and just your breasts. You are the manifestation of excellence. Now, it's time to act like it.
I do love you,
Dapoet
1. Karrine behaved and dressed in a very sexual way for auditions. If she couldn't meet that standard, the male producer would say she wasn't good enough.
2. When Karrine was selected for the video, she would have to perform some sexual act to be the head girl on the shoot. This sexual act may not be performed on the artist but on a member of his entourage. If she didn't satisfy them sexually, the men would say she wasn't good enough.
3. Karrine chose to have sex with any rap star in return for a few dollars and some possible travel. After all, that was what her body was worth.
4. Karrine allowed the body that was designed by God to be treated like a public toilet. Day in and day out bodily fluids filled her because the men felt that was all she was worth.
5. Karrine was a "jump off", a chick on the side not worthy to carry the title "Mrs." because that was all she was worth.
6. Karrine found herself separated from her child, strung out on drugs, and sleeping in a car because the men felt that was all she was worth.
7. Karrine wrote three books about her sexual romps because that's all she felt she was worth.
Wow, it's amazing. It seems to me that the men got the better side of this deal. Where was her liberation? Men decided her worth. They decided she was the sum of her body parts and nothing more.
Ladies, who decides your worth? Look at the Proverbs 31 woman. In the totality of her life, she was a wife, mother, and wise business woman. She didn't just have one trick in her bag.
Dear Daughters of the Most High God,
God took the time to breathe Himself into you. In that breath, you inhaled His compassion, gentleness, wisdom, nurturing, and creativity. In spite of what you see on television, you are more than the the sum total of your parts. Now, I'm not saying that it is a sin to be proud of every soft curve that God carved upon your frame. We should take the time for pampering ourselves. However, we should take more time displaying our character and integrity and let God promote our value. With God promoting our value, we no longer have to seek, bend, or break our backs to demonstrate our worth to the opposite gender. You are more than just your lips, just your hips, just your hair, and just your breasts. You are the manifestation of excellence. Now, it's time to act like it.
I do love you,
Dapoet
Monday, July 12, 2010
"What a Girl Wants...What a Girl Needs?"
Yes. The secrets out! Women are a little more complex than men when it comes to having their needs met. To men, our needs seems to change based on the direction of the blowing wind. I tend to believe that our emotions play a large role in that area. However, there are some basic desires of every woman.
1. "Hero: Inquire Within"- It is safe to say that most women long for a hero. They desire for strong arms to keep them safe from harm. Isn't that what God does for us? One of my favorite television shows is The Game. There's an episode where Melanie and Derwin break up after his affair is revealed, and Derwin tries to stop her from moving out. Enter Trey Wiggs (a friend from college and a NFL star). He grips up Derwin, whisks Melanie off to a hotel, buys her a condo, a car, and pays for her tuition. (The Game Part I; The Game Part II; The Game Part III) How romantic! He rescued her out of nowhere and all because he was in love with her, and didn't want her to worry about anything. It wasn't the money spent that endeared the female viewers to Trey. It was the rescue. There was no doubt Trey would protect Melanie at all cost. Even the most independent woman desires to be rescued. Many of the women that claim "they can do it by themselves" have been disappointed by men. They had opened their hearts to men in the past and experienced abandonment, abuse, and/or adultery. Those women simply don't want to be hurt again. But if you can ever make a woman feel safe in your presence...you will find a way into her heart.
2. "Can You Call Things Into Order?"- Have you ever wondered why women gravitate towards powerful men? Powerful and successful men usually can call things into order. When they speak, people listen. This type of man can shift the atmosphere. We are attracted to that type of authority and confidence. Why? Because you are behaving like our Heavenly Father. To us, you are big and strong able to take on the Goliaths of the world.
3. "Am I Your Diamond?"- With all the female competition there is in the world, a woman wants to know that she stands out in your heart. We want to believe that we are so special "you will forsake all others" (sounds familiar?). To know that a man will resist his carnal nature to be faithful to a woman is more attractive than any man will ever know. A faithful man is saying,"You are worth the investment. You are the poem to my life. You are my dream brought into reality."
4. "Affection is Not an Infection!"- Women love men who can be affectionate. We like to be held in a man's arms. Again, it makes us feel safe and under your protection (not control). When a man can transition from being macho with the boys to connecting to their gentler selves, it really does move us. The thought of a man feeling safe enough in a woman's presence to let his guard down is almost intoxicating. In our mind the conversation goes like this, "Wow. You feel so comfortable around me that you are willing to share your heart." A mature and godly woman will treasure this side of you. She will cover your heart with all that is in her.
Dear Man of God,
This information should be used in the purest sense. If you are searching for your woman of God, by all means gain wisdom from this entry. Use it to find your queen and be blessed by all God has promised you in a mate.
I do love you,
Dapoet
1. "Hero: Inquire Within"- It is safe to say that most women long for a hero. They desire for strong arms to keep them safe from harm. Isn't that what God does for us? One of my favorite television shows is The Game. There's an episode where Melanie and Derwin break up after his affair is revealed, and Derwin tries to stop her from moving out. Enter Trey Wiggs (a friend from college and a NFL star). He grips up Derwin, whisks Melanie off to a hotel, buys her a condo, a car, and pays for her tuition. (The Game Part I; The Game Part II; The Game Part III) How romantic! He rescued her out of nowhere and all because he was in love with her, and didn't want her to worry about anything. It wasn't the money spent that endeared the female viewers to Trey. It was the rescue. There was no doubt Trey would protect Melanie at all cost. Even the most independent woman desires to be rescued. Many of the women that claim "they can do it by themselves" have been disappointed by men. They had opened their hearts to men in the past and experienced abandonment, abuse, and/or adultery. Those women simply don't want to be hurt again. But if you can ever make a woman feel safe in your presence...you will find a way into her heart.
2. "Can You Call Things Into Order?"- Have you ever wondered why women gravitate towards powerful men? Powerful and successful men usually can call things into order. When they speak, people listen. This type of man can shift the atmosphere. We are attracted to that type of authority and confidence. Why? Because you are behaving like our Heavenly Father. To us, you are big and strong able to take on the Goliaths of the world.
3. "Am I Your Diamond?"- With all the female competition there is in the world, a woman wants to know that she stands out in your heart. We want to believe that we are so special "you will forsake all others" (sounds familiar?). To know that a man will resist his carnal nature to be faithful to a woman is more attractive than any man will ever know. A faithful man is saying,"You are worth the investment. You are the poem to my life. You are my dream brought into reality."
4. "Affection is Not an Infection!"- Women love men who can be affectionate. We like to be held in a man's arms. Again, it makes us feel safe and under your protection (not control). When a man can transition from being macho with the boys to connecting to their gentler selves, it really does move us. The thought of a man feeling safe enough in a woman's presence to let his guard down is almost intoxicating. In our mind the conversation goes like this, "Wow. You feel so comfortable around me that you are willing to share your heart." A mature and godly woman will treasure this side of you. She will cover your heart with all that is in her.
Dear Man of God,
This information should be used in the purest sense. If you are searching for your woman of God, by all means gain wisdom from this entry. Use it to find your queen and be blessed by all God has promised you in a mate.
I do love you,
Dapoet
Monday, June 7, 2010
The Death of the Diary of a Mad Black Woman Part III
Dear Woman of God,
I've noticed something very interesting about the conversations of women on relationships. Women are quick to say that their man is not meeting their needs, but the same women are silent about meeting the needs of their men. Wonder why? Well, let's get the most obvious reason out of the way. Women have been in tune with their needs since knee-high apple pie. We are trained to be family-oriented. Some of our first toys were dolls and fake kitchen sets. We paper our walls with posters of our dream men. For me, it was Johnny Gill and Shawn Stockman. Our minds form the perfect relationship. He will do only the things you love . He will know your needs before you need it. Get the point. We've been focusing on our needs for a long time. What about God's sons? What do they need?
To be honest, men's needs are very simplistic. It is safe to say that the average man desires three things: praise, respect, and sex.
1. Man is made in the image of God's characteristics. God loves genuine praise for He inhabits the praises of His people (Psalms 22:3). This means when God hears His people praise Him, He shows up to do more. Men operate in the same fashion. When a man receives praise, his chest puffs out and he seeks to do more. God has given women the power of influence. Praise prompts motivation. I use to work at a place where the custodians would do darn near anything for me. One day, a colleague asked how I was so lucky. It wasn't luck. I praised them each and every time they provided assistance. They couldn't even pick up the trash without me saying how "big and strong" they were. My words and actions demonstrated that I respected all that they did for me.
2. Respect is closely connected to praise. Ephesians 5:33- “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” In essence, respect means to hold one in high esteem. Respect means acknowledgement. It says, " I see what you're doing. I appreciate what you're doing. I will do my part to support you in your efforts." Respect comes in a variety of forms: a hot meal, a peaceful home, and clean clothes are great examples because it demonstrates support. When a woman can deliver care without being combative, it is a pure demonstration of respect. A good man will realize, appreciate, and continue to mature under the umbrella of respect.
Now, I already hear some of the ladies. "He's too stupid to respect!" Here's a little secret: If you think he is "stupid" now, he was probably "stupid" back then. You picked him. (I'll leave that alone.)
Nevertheless, showing respect is a conscious choice. Showing respect does not signal approval of everything he does. Showing respect displays a recognition of the calling upon his life.
3. Finally, the sprinkles on the the sundae. The average man desires sex on a fairly regular basis. Now, before you reduce this topic to an irrelevant speck, listen. God designed sex. It was not some fantastic mishap between Adam and Eve that was passed down through the ages. Sex is a gift from God and should be a demonstration of love and unity between husband and wife. One day I was listening to some friends talk about their husbands. They were giggling about faking sleep, so their husbands wouldn't wake them up for sex. Wow! When they were dating it was a different story. They loved the rebellion of it all. You know, eating the forbidden fruit. Now, they have the official green light from God and nada.
Here's the bottom line. Sex is important to your husband and it's important to God. 1 Corinthians 7:2-5:
"But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." If you have or desire a great man of God, meditate on this, this one man that God made specifically for you wants to come to you look you in your eyes and share the most intimate part of himself with you. With all the temptation that surrounds him daily, he controls his flesh and saves himself for you. That's sexy all in itself! Don't give Satan a foothold. Please be obedient.
I Love You Woman of God,
Dapoet
P.S.
Yes, I will discuss the importance of sex to women in a later blog, but unlike Kool and the Gang it's not "Ladies Night" on this night.
I've noticed something very interesting about the conversations of women on relationships. Women are quick to say that their man is not meeting their needs, but the same women are silent about meeting the needs of their men. Wonder why? Well, let's get the most obvious reason out of the way. Women have been in tune with their needs since knee-high apple pie. We are trained to be family-oriented. Some of our first toys were dolls and fake kitchen sets. We paper our walls with posters of our dream men. For me, it was Johnny Gill and Shawn Stockman. Our minds form the perfect relationship. He will do only the things you love . He will know your needs before you need it. Get the point. We've been focusing on our needs for a long time. What about God's sons? What do they need?
To be honest, men's needs are very simplistic. It is safe to say that the average man desires three things: praise, respect, and sex.
1. Man is made in the image of God's characteristics. God loves genuine praise for He inhabits the praises of His people (Psalms 22:3). This means when God hears His people praise Him, He shows up to do more. Men operate in the same fashion. When a man receives praise, his chest puffs out and he seeks to do more. God has given women the power of influence. Praise prompts motivation. I use to work at a place where the custodians would do darn near anything for me. One day, a colleague asked how I was so lucky. It wasn't luck. I praised them each and every time they provided assistance. They couldn't even pick up the trash without me saying how "big and strong" they were. My words and actions demonstrated that I respected all that they did for me.
2. Respect is closely connected to praise. Ephesians 5:33- “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” In essence, respect means to hold one in high esteem. Respect means acknowledgement. It says, " I see what you're doing. I appreciate what you're doing. I will do my part to support you in your efforts." Respect comes in a variety of forms: a hot meal, a peaceful home, and clean clothes are great examples because it demonstrates support. When a woman can deliver care without being combative, it is a pure demonstration of respect. A good man will realize, appreciate, and continue to mature under the umbrella of respect.
Now, I already hear some of the ladies. "He's too stupid to respect!" Here's a little secret: If you think he is "stupid" now, he was probably "stupid" back then. You picked him. (I'll leave that alone.)
Nevertheless, showing respect is a conscious choice. Showing respect does not signal approval of everything he does. Showing respect displays a recognition of the calling upon his life.
3. Finally, the sprinkles on the the sundae. The average man desires sex on a fairly regular basis. Now, before you reduce this topic to an irrelevant speck, listen. God designed sex. It was not some fantastic mishap between Adam and Eve that was passed down through the ages. Sex is a gift from God and should be a demonstration of love and unity between husband and wife. One day I was listening to some friends talk about their husbands. They were giggling about faking sleep, so their husbands wouldn't wake them up for sex. Wow! When they were dating it was a different story. They loved the rebellion of it all. You know, eating the forbidden fruit. Now, they have the official green light from God and nada.
Here's the bottom line. Sex is important to your husband and it's important to God. 1 Corinthians 7:2-5:
"But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." If you have or desire a great man of God, meditate on this, this one man that God made specifically for you wants to come to you look you in your eyes and share the most intimate part of himself with you. With all the temptation that surrounds him daily, he controls his flesh and saves himself for you. That's sexy all in itself! Don't give Satan a foothold. Please be obedient.
I Love You Woman of God,
Dapoet
P.S.
Yes, I will discuss the importance of sex to women in a later blog, but unlike Kool and the Gang it's not "Ladies Night" on this night.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
The Death of the Diary of a Mad Black Woman Part II
Dear Maturing Woman of God,
Why should you only be in a relationship with a godly man? Well, let's think about our Heavenly Father. He is faithful, compassionate, a provider, a protector, strong, and loving. When He truly resides in someone, the characteristics must grow and develop in that person. Look, years ago I worked at a camp. Half of the staff came from Brooklyn and the other half from London. I spent 11 weeks with these wonderful people. The side effect: I had one of the thickest accents around. What's the point? The person or people you spend the most time around influence you the most. If a man spends a great deal of time developing his relationship with the Father, he develops God's attributes. The man will become faithful, compassionate, a provider, a protector, strong, and loving.
How does God desire for his daughters to be treated? Ephesians 5:25-30 says, "And you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by baptism and God's word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man is actually loving himself when he loves his wife. No one hates his own body but lovingly cares for it, just as Christ cares for his body, which is the church. And we are his body." I Peter 3:7 says, "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers." Now, what woman doesn't want this in her life? God has so much He wants you to experience!
Before you go get a new dress for this Sunday's service, let's talk. Just because a man goes to church doesn't mean he has a mature relationship with God. You will know if he has a relationship with God by the fruit he bears. He will bear this fruit in and out of your presence. If he only bears fruit in your presence, it's an ACT! Run for the hills! Remember, Satan goes to church! Some men are in the beginning stages of their relationship with God. Their spirit is willing, but their flesh is oh so weak. These men have a little too much world in them. It doesn't take much for them to fall off the wagon. If you care about this brother in Christ, let him continue to develop. Rushing into something may hurt the both of you. Instead, wait for God to send a mature man of faith. You will notice I said mature and not perfect. This man is developing the ability to love you like the Father loves you. He will care for you and allow God to lead him on how to treat you. In the meantime, allow God to mature you! As much as God loves His daughters, He adores His sons. This topic will be discussed in a later blog.
I love you woman of God,
Dapoet
Why should you only be in a relationship with a godly man? Well, let's think about our Heavenly Father. He is faithful, compassionate, a provider, a protector, strong, and loving. When He truly resides in someone, the characteristics must grow and develop in that person. Look, years ago I worked at a camp. Half of the staff came from Brooklyn and the other half from London. I spent 11 weeks with these wonderful people. The side effect: I had one of the thickest accents around. What's the point? The person or people you spend the most time around influence you the most. If a man spends a great deal of time developing his relationship with the Father, he develops God's attributes. The man will become faithful, compassionate, a provider, a protector, strong, and loving.
How does God desire for his daughters to be treated? Ephesians 5:25-30 says, "And you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by baptism and God's word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man is actually loving himself when he loves his wife. No one hates his own body but lovingly cares for it, just as Christ cares for his body, which is the church. And we are his body." I Peter 3:7 says, "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers." Now, what woman doesn't want this in her life? God has so much He wants you to experience!
Before you go get a new dress for this Sunday's service, let's talk. Just because a man goes to church doesn't mean he has a mature relationship with God. You will know if he has a relationship with God by the fruit he bears. He will bear this fruit in and out of your presence. If he only bears fruit in your presence, it's an ACT! Run for the hills! Remember, Satan goes to church! Some men are in the beginning stages of their relationship with God. Their spirit is willing, but their flesh is oh so weak. These men have a little too much world in them. It doesn't take much for them to fall off the wagon. If you care about this brother in Christ, let him continue to develop. Rushing into something may hurt the both of you. Instead, wait for God to send a mature man of faith. You will notice I said mature and not perfect. This man is developing the ability to love you like the Father loves you. He will care for you and allow God to lead him on how to treat you. In the meantime, allow God to mature you! As much as God loves His daughters, He adores His sons. This topic will be discussed in a later blog.
I love you woman of God,
Dapoet
Sunday, May 9, 2010
The Death of the Diary of a Mad Black Woman Part I
Dear Reader,
What life has been birthed from being an angry black woman? I'll tell you. No life at all. The truth is that it has slowly killed us and our relationships. God is a God of truth, so let's start telling it. For many of the black women I know (including myself), we just made bad choices. Sometimes we didn't know any better. Sometimes we knew better but still made the bad choice. What do I mean?
Here are surefire ways to reduce finding a great man:
My dear sisters,
In God's eye we are all created equal. We are intelligent beings because we have The Intelligent Father. This means we have the authority, the right, and responsibility to use the God-given wisdom to make better choices. When we acknowledge our roles in the relationship selection process, we can grow. However, when we spend all day blaming men for all our hurts, we can't be in position for the Great Man God has for Us. And quiet as it's kept in the Sista' Circle...No Man Wants An Angry Woman. "A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day" Proverbs 27:15. Carnal anger hinders us. It hinders our hearing from God. It hinders us from spiritual promotion. It hinders us from developing into the Great Women God needs for us to be for our men and for the Kingdom at Large.
I Love You Woman of God,
Dapoet
What life has been birthed from being an angry black woman? I'll tell you. No life at all. The truth is that it has slowly killed us and our relationships. God is a God of truth, so let's start telling it. For many of the black women I know (including myself), we just made bad choices. Sometimes we didn't know any better. Sometimes we knew better but still made the bad choice. What do I mean?
Here are surefire ways to reduce finding a great man:
- Dating an ungodly man
- Going to jail to find a man
- Taking someone else's man
- Ignoring obvious and present signs of abusive behavior (emotional, physical, or substance)
- Always dating someone for their possible potential (that you want to develop)
- Sleeping with any man before your wedding day
- Trying to control a man ('cause ain't no man going to control you)
- Selecting a man who plants his seed with many and never stays to cultivate the harvest (a man with many children by many different women)
- Selecting a man who is not striving to protect and provide for his family
- Selecting a man because you are lonely
My dear sisters,
In God's eye we are all created equal. We are intelligent beings because we have The Intelligent Father. This means we have the authority, the right, and responsibility to use the God-given wisdom to make better choices. When we acknowledge our roles in the relationship selection process, we can grow. However, when we spend all day blaming men for all our hurts, we can't be in position for the Great Man God has for Us. And quiet as it's kept in the Sista' Circle...No Man Wants An Angry Woman. "A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day" Proverbs 27:15. Carnal anger hinders us. It hinders our hearing from God. It hinders us from spiritual promotion. It hinders us from developing into the Great Women God needs for us to be for our men and for the Kingdom at Large.
I Love You Woman of God,
Dapoet
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