Dear Woman of God,
I've noticed something very interesting about the conversations of women on relationships. Women are quick to say that their man is not meeting their needs, but the same women are silent about meeting the needs of their men. Wonder why? Well, let's get the most obvious reason out of the way. Women have been in tune with their needs since knee-high apple pie. We are trained to be family-oriented. Some of our first toys were dolls and fake kitchen sets. We paper our walls with posters of our dream men. For me, it was Johnny Gill and Shawn Stockman. Our minds form the perfect relationship. He will do only the things you love . He will know your needs before you need it. Get the point. We've been focusing on our needs for a long time. What about God's sons? What do they need?
To be honest, men's needs are very simplistic. It is safe to say that the average man desires three things: praise, respect, and sex.
1. Man is made in the image of God's characteristics. God loves genuine praise for He inhabits the praises of His people (Psalms 22:3). This means when God hears His people praise Him, He shows up to do more. Men operate in the same fashion. When a man receives praise, his chest puffs out and he seeks to do more. God has given women the power of influence. Praise prompts motivation. I use to work at a place where the custodians would do darn near anything for me. One day, a colleague asked how I was so lucky. It wasn't luck. I praised them each and every time they provided assistance. They couldn't even pick up the trash without me saying how "big and strong" they were. My words and actions demonstrated that I respected all that they did for me.
2. Respect is closely connected to praise. Ephesians 5:33- “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” In essence, respect means to hold one in high esteem. Respect means acknowledgement. It says, " I see what you're doing. I appreciate what you're doing. I will do my part to support you in your efforts." Respect comes in a variety of forms: a hot meal, a peaceful home, and clean clothes are great examples because it demonstrates support. When a woman can deliver care without being combative, it is a pure demonstration of respect. A good man will realize, appreciate, and continue to mature under the umbrella of respect.
Now, I already hear some of the ladies. "He's too stupid to respect!" Here's a little secret: If you think he is "stupid" now, he was probably "stupid" back then. You picked him. (I'll leave that alone.)
Nevertheless, showing respect is a conscious choice. Showing respect does not signal approval of everything he does. Showing respect displays a recognition of the calling upon his life.
3. Finally, the sprinkles on the the sundae. The average man desires sex on a fairly regular basis. Now, before you reduce this topic to an irrelevant speck, listen. God designed sex. It was not some fantastic mishap between Adam and Eve that was passed down through the ages. Sex is a gift from God and should be a demonstration of love and unity between husband and wife. One day I was listening to some friends talk about their husbands. They were giggling about faking sleep, so their husbands wouldn't wake them up for sex. Wow! When they were dating it was a different story. They loved the rebellion of it all. You know, eating the forbidden fruit. Now, they have the official green light from God and nada.
Here's the bottom line. Sex is important to your husband and it's important to God. 1 Corinthians 7:2-5:
"But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." If you have or desire a great man of God, meditate on this, this one man that God made specifically for you wants to come to you look you in your eyes and share the most intimate part of himself with you. With all the temptation that surrounds him daily, he controls his flesh and saves himself for you. That's sexy all in itself! Don't give Satan a foothold. Please be obedient.
I Love You Woman of God,
Dapoet
P.S.
Yes, I will discuss the importance of sex to women in a later blog, but unlike Kool and the Gang it's not "Ladies Night" on this night.
